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[10 Sep 2008|03:30am] |
Time doesn't always heal
It just breathes and swallows memories
Like the seasons change
Sending showers beating flowers
Into the mud
Helpless we are crying out
But we will love someday and how
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[06 Jul 2008|10:43pm] |
boston sucks, i fucking hate this city. its only saving grace is its sports teams.
i love you portland.
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[19 Jun 2008|10:17am] |
Academic achievement requires effort. Admittedly, everyone does not have the requisite talent for scholarship; but excellence still cannot be achieved without effort. Achieved characteristics are like that. They may require acquired talent for true excellence, but great effort is still necessary for real achievement. Consider that remarkably accomplished operatic singer Marion Anderson. No doubt blessed with extraordinary potential, it still took years and years of uncommon effort for her to achieve singular excellence. Nevertheless, in 1939 officials of the Daughters of the American Revolution judged her acquired racial characteristics to be far more important than what she had so laboriously achieved when they forbade her from singing in concert in their Constitution Hall. Happily, Eleanor Roosevelt was outraged by this injustice, publicly resigned her membership in the D.A.R. and used her influence to arrange for Ms. Anderson to deliver an unforgettable performance at the Lincoln Memorial. Unhappily, however, most victims of discrimination never experience such vindication. Their best efforts are instead crushed by unfair burdens assigned at birth.
Little wonder, then, that people who cherish justice would want to repair the injustices created by racism, sexism, ageism, and other discrimination based on acquired characteristics. In fact, the idea behind "positive discrimination" is to undo the lingering effects of just this sort of injustice. But is it effective? And even more important, is it just?
The plan is to continue to discriminate on the basis of acquired characteristics, like race or gender, but with a positive purpose -- namely, establishing greater fairness or justice. The strategy is to select people using the same acquired characteristics that originally brought disadvantage and, by giving them special consideration, turn that acquired characteristic into a compensatory advantage. It is, in effect, using racism to combat racism, sexism to contest sexism. After all, acquired characteristics, such as race, are still the basis for judgment. But what this approach overlooks is that the individuals who suffered the injustice are often not the individuals gaining the compensatory advantage. Nor are those who enjoyed the benefits of past discrimination necessarily the same individuals who pay the costs of compensatory reparation. It is a simple-minded mentality that believes that past injustices are somehow undone by present remedies. Just as easily we end up with two wrongs that don't make a right.
Consider a hypothetical "positive discrimination" college admission policy that assigns preferences based on gender, race and ethnic heritage -- all acquired characteristics. There are more candidates than places at this college, and two candidates are tied with identical cumulative averages and admission test scores for the last opening.
One of these candidates is a Hispanic female, let's call her Juanita. She is Cuban - American from an affluent neighborhood in West Palm Beach, Florida. Her father is an extraordinarily wealthy Florida cigar manufacturer, her mother a physician. Juanita was raised in luxury, traveled the world with her parents on extraordinary vacations, had private dance and music lessons, lived in a home filled with books, magazines, newspapers and original art, enjoyed a circle of friends from similarly sophisticated backgrounds, and so forth. Juanita, however, was unmotivated in school and did not utilize the advantages afforded by her background. In fact, her indifference to school work led to her failing out of two exclusive private schools before her parents angrily placed her in West Palm Beach's very well-funded public high school (the tax base in the district is vast) from which she barely graduated.
The other candidate for the college's last available space is a white male, let's call him Sam. Sam is from Panther Hollow, West Virginia. Sam's father, a laid-off coal miner, died of black lung when Sam was twelve. (It so happens that Juanita's family owns stock in the coal company Sam's dad worked for. It was an attractive investment because of its unusually profitability which the company maintained by dodging coal dust suppression regulations and laying off middle-aged miners.) Sam's home is a battered trailer more filled with overdue bills than books. Sam has never been more than 100 miles away from home. His friends are as poor and unsophisticated as he is. Sam's mother, who had to drop out of school to support her widowed mother, has worked as a waitress in the local diner since her husband died. To help his family while in high school Sam worked 8 hours a day at minimum wages in the same diner busing tables and washing dishes. Despite this burden, Sam did the best he could in his badly underfunded public school (the tax base for Panther Valley School District is meager) and, with great effort studying between bursts of business at the diner, ended up, like Juanita, barely graduating from high school and with an average score on the college's admission test.
Guess who gets into the college's last available space, and figure out how that sets aright some past injustice.
-Gary K. Clabaugh
I don't know if I have ever agreed with something more than this. We, as a unit, need to stop discriminating, not continue in a different way.
And I don't mean that you, as an individual, have to stop discriminating. I mean that the questions of gender, race, etc should be taken off applications. That companies should hire based on merit and previous performance. how could characteristics that you are born with possibly be relevant to positions or opportunities that are based on previous performance and merit?
I will never understand some of the decision the people who came before me have made, but i am outraged by them.
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| T-SQL, any ideas? |
[13 Jun 2008|02:34pm] |
Hello nerdy friends of mine. Anyone know if there an inherent difference to the following select statements?
select * from where SessionID NOT IN (select SessionID from tmpsys_Log with (NOLOCK) where LogLevel = 10)
as opposed to:
select * from where SessionID IN (select SessionID from tmpsys_Log with (NOLOCK) where LogLevel <> 10)
Because I am getting different results and its driving me insane!
UPDATE: Resolved. SessionID's can appear in multiple rows, and thus have multiple LogLevels. In the bottom case, a row with a LogID of 10 for a given SessionID can be returned provided that SessionID has at least one other row with a LogLevel not equal to 10.
Anyone that took a look at this, thanks!
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[09 Jun 2008|12:46am] |
just like college, its near 1:00 am, and I am putting off a large amount of work with no good reason. the only thing that i can really think of is that i am generally dissatisfied with my life, and listening to some music and writing my thoughts down might make me feel better, at least for tonight....so, here it goes.
i shouldn't be dating. anyone. i have hurt 3 people over the last few weeks because i am attempting to go out and have a good time with new girls, and i am completely and utterly unprepared for all the emotional stress that it brings along - especially the inevitable end to these foolish and failing relationships. on the surface it would appear that i have forgotten how to give of myself - how to commit and how to care for someone else....when really I've been loving and giving and caring with reckless abandon and just have nothing to show for it. these girls I'm trying to replace you with don't deserve the actions, thoughts and words I swore I'd give to only you. I hate that I'm expected to move on. My heart isn't ready for it, and I'm tired of trying to fool myself.
I don't have a best friend anymore. I don't have someone that I rush to tell things. I have a few very close friends, sure, but everyone is fully committed to someone else or has another set of priorities and that leaves me standing...alone. I don't think there is a single person in my life that I could sit down and have an intimate, serious conversation with where something on my end wouldn't feel forced.
i miss Sunday morning sleep ins. i miss 2 hour Wednesday night drives, and 2 hour Thursday morning returns. I miss surprising you with flowers, or fun weekend vacations. i miss talking to you, and listening to you laugh... not because you necessarily think I'm funny, but because you think its funny that I find myself hilarious.
All i know is that sleeping on the couch and seeing someone else make you happy...but SEEING you, every day, is better than the hell I live in now. I gave up my independence long ago; if you can't be in my life then i need someone to teach me to love again, because my heart is turning to stone and i can feel myself withdrawing from everything that reminds me of you...which is, unfortunately, everything beautiful this world has to give.
I'm sorry that i can't just give you up. I'm in love. It's hard enough to not fight for you back every single day. If I give up on love now I don't think I'd ever trust it again. I can't sacrifice that.
This entry should absolutely not be public, but i just don't care anymore. i still love you Sarah. It's pathetic, it's ridiculous, and it's driving you away from me, and I simply cannot help it. I've never been so sure of anything in my life.
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| pretty much |
[07 Apr 2008|10:59am] |
I eat with these crooked teeth
Tomato soup and grilled cheese
But you already know that because you used to dine with me
Do you remember?
I listen to my same old cd's
New order & Morissey
But you already know that because you used to ride with me
I thought I'd be singing a different tune by now
But this song about you keeps coming out
I sleep in these dirty sheets
A blanket between my boney knees
But you already know that because you used to crawl in bed with me in the morning before work
Put your hands on my back
Kiss the back of my neck
I thought I'd be singing a different tune by now
But this song about you keeps coming out
I hoped to be singing to someone new by now
But the songs about you
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[08 Mar 2008|09:14pm] |
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i have nothing left to give you, and that means i failed.
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[04 Mar 2008|09:51am] |
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Its all calypso
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| Believe the news, I'm gone for good |
[26 Feb 2008|08:38am] |
Lately I've had a knack for writing entries that really could be for more than just one specific person in my life, and this one is no different.
Of all the different ways I've felt, I think this recent feeling of powerlessness has got to be the worst. To passively sit and at best flail while my friends are hurting is not something I can do easily. I know that, present day, I don't know either of you well. Please know that regardless of that fact, you both are in my thoughts every day, and that I want nothing more than for everything to be okay for you.
My friends are family, my family is hurting, and I can't do anything about it. This is a terrible feeling.
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[26 Feb 2008|02:51am] |
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[25 Feb 2008|12:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
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introspective |
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music |
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The Format - On Your Porch |
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I am still waiting for you. I know it has been a long time but I believe it will happen. I just have to figure out how to get your attention. I could be loud, but I don't know if it will work out and I don't think it will be appreciated.
And I would love to call you, but I wont say what I want to.
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| audentes fortuna iuvat - right? |
[18 Feb 2008|03:19pm] |
Throughout my whole life I have been nice to people, and over the last few years or so it seems like more and more people just get mad at me when I do it. I am beginning to think that I just have no idea how to interact with others. I have got to be one of the most misinterpreted people of all time, but it can't always be the other person that didn't understand me. Sometimes, it is my fault for not expressing myself clearly enough, and I need to start stepping up and taking accountability for that.
I am sorry that my actions have not been conducive to the way you are living your life. I hope we can hang anyway. Also, I know we aren't close as far as friends go, but I am a great listener and I will be there for you if you need it.
Also, I'm sorry that my mind dwells on these things, and that I had to tell you all this via a livejournal post. It somehow seemed like a better idea than texting it to you, but its really pretty much the same.
Nice guy = last place every time
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[26 Jul 2007|04:38pm] |
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So, my birthday is next friday. anyone want to go play laser tag?
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[07 May 2007|11:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sore |
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music |
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DRAGONFORCE |
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Does anyone remember when we found my doppleganger on myspace? The kid from MA that looked just like me and was named Pat(rick)? Does anyone still have that link?
I need to go highlander on that kid... I'm starting to feel old and achy and I could use a boost.
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[19 Apr 2007|03:17pm] |
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ALEX CORA IS THE MAN!!!
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| I started the lawnmower |
[21 Feb 2007|06:14am] |
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Last night I had a dream that I was back in high school, and that B-Rad and Joanna Begin went to school with me. But no one there believed it was me, and so to prove it to them, I had to turn some hardcore moves in the hallway. After my third jump kick, someone said they recognized me, then everyone else agreed, and we all sat down on the floor where Katie Harris started packing a bowl.
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| vegetarian = nope |
[28 Jan 2007|11:24pm] |
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Today I ate pepperoni, and I'll do it again if i feel like it
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[12 Dec 2006|01:33pm] |
What is your preferred photobooth location?
*Edit: Please post examples, if able, to support your choice.
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